Silver linings: embracing change - my hair journey through cancer treatment

When I first started chemotherapy, I knew there would be challenges ahead. I was bracing myself for the tough moments, the unknowns, and of course, the loss of my hair. But when it came down to it, losing my hair wasn’t nearly as difficult as I had anticipated. In fact, it wasn’t a big deal at all. I had a wig if I needed it, lovely hats to keep my head warm, and a combination of a soft hat and baseball cap that felt just right. For me, hair loss was simply a part of the process. It was a sacrifice I was willing to make in my fight against cancer.

At that moment in time, my focus was entirely on one thing: getting rid of the cancer. Hair, or the lack thereof, didn’t bother me. I was doing what I had to do. It wasn’t until later, after surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation, that I began to reflect on what my hair, or rather the loss and regrowth of it, truly meant.

The unexpected journey of hair regrowth

Now, as I move through my endocrine therapy for the next five years, my hope is that I won’t face a recurrence. With each passing day, I feel more and more like myself, but there are moments when I catch a glimpse of my hair and realise that, although I am moving forward, it’s also a reminder of where I’ve been.

I will always remember the moment when my hair began to grow back. After months of smooth, bare skin where my hair once was, I started to see the first tiny hairs sprouting. It was exciting to witness. Lower lashes, eyebrows, and even leg hair returned—everything that had disappeared was now coming back. It was like my body was slowly healing, piece by piece.

But the surprise came when my hair started growing in: it was thick and fast, but it wasn’t the same hair I remembered. It was grey. Not just a few strands of grey, but an entire head of it. I’d always been a healthy mop of brunette with a couple of greys, but now my hair had transformed into a tight curly mix of silver and white. At first, I found it a little startling, even a bit overwhelming. I didn’t know what to do with this new version of myself.

Before, Bald, and Blonde: a look at my hair transformation

As my hair started to grow back, it was an exciting yet sometimes overwhelming process. From the first tiny strands to the new blonde look I’ve come to love, each stage was a new chapter in my recovery. Here’s a glimpse into the visual stages of my hair transformation:

A moment of reflection

There was a moment, standing in front of the mirror, when I really felt bothered by my grey curly hair. It wasn’t about vanity; it was a symbol of what I had gone through, a reminder of the fight and the fear I had lived with for so long. I didn’t want to keep looking back. I wanted to move forward, to leave the past behind and embrace the future.

So, I decided to take control. I didn’t want my hair to dictate how I felt about myself any longer. As soon as it was long enough to manage, I made an appointment with my fabulous colourist, Valentina. I walked into that salon and said, “Bleach me blonde.” It felt empowering to make that choice, to decide how I wanted to look rather than feeling as though my hair was defining me.

It wasn’t about changing the past. It was about owning my present and embracing the future with confidence. That decision was mine, and it felt good to have control over something that, for so long, I had felt powerless about.

Shaving it off: a family moment

When the time came to shave off my hair as chemotherapy started to kick in, it was a family affair. My husband and son helped me through the process, and we made it fun. It wasn’t a big deal at all. We were in the kitchen, and my son—who was 9 at the time—joined in with his usual sense of humour. As we shaved, I joked about having a mohawk, since I had the chance to rock a bold look before it all came off. We shared some laughs, and it felt good to keep it lighthearted.

My son, gracious as ever, looked at my new blonde hair and said, “Mum, you’re cosplaying Eminem.” I couldn’t help but laugh! While he did say he preferred my long brown hair, I suspected that it was more about the life we had before cancer—when everything seemed “normal.” I know, in time, he’ll love my blonde hair too. He’s already shown that he can roll with the changes, and I’m proud of the way he’s adapted to this plot twist in our lives.

The lessons learned

Through this process, I’ve learned a lot about myself and my relationship with my appearance. While I’ve never been overly focused on my looks, I now understand more clearly than ever the truth in the phrase "Look Good, Feel Better." I’ve experienced firsthand how much of an impact appearance can have on your mood and mindset. When I look in the mirror and feel good about what I see, it lifts my spirit.

But even as my hair is growing back, I’m not obsessed with perfection. What's important is that it’s mine, and I can do anything I want with it now. Any colour, any length—no limits. I joke that my hair is in better condition than before chemotherapy, and in some ways, it really is. My morning routine is so much easier, and I’ve learned to appreciate the simplicity of it all.

Moving forward with confidence

In the end, my hair is just hair. It’s a part of my story, but it’s not who I am. It doesn’t define me, but it does reflect the journey I’ve been on. It’s a journey of resilience, of accepting the things I can’t control, and taking charge of the things I can. It’s a reminder of where I’ve been, but it’s also a symbol of where I’m going.

As I move forward in my life, I know there will be more challenges, more lessons, and more growth. Hair will continue to grow, and so will I. For now, I’ll enjoy the moment—my blonde hair, my confidence, and the strength that comes from knowing I’ve made it this far.

If you're navigating similar challenges with hair loss or other changes to your appearance during treatment, Look Good Feel Better offers invaluable support. Their free online classes helped me better understand what to expect and how to manage the physical changes. They provide practical tips and emotional encouragement, which gave me a sense of control during a time when so much felt uncertain.

Check out Look Good Feel Better for support during cancer treatment.

Facing changes like hair loss can be overwhelming, but remember this: you have the strength to take control and move forward. You don’t have to love every aspect of yourself, but loving yourself through the process is what matters most. And sometimes, the best thing you can do is smile at your reflection and say, “I’ve got this.”